Oh MTN....!!!!!!

A woman was trying to reach her hubby on his mobile phone but discovered she was out of airtime. She instructed her son to use his phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy.

After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the 3 times he tried reaching daddy on his mobile phone.
She waited impatiently for her husband to return home on sighting him, she immediately gave him a hot slap, while the man was trying to utter a word, she repeated the slap, which attracted their neighbors to the scene, the woman then asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The MTN number u're trying to call is currently switched off, pls try again later".
What will you do if you were the husband???? Slap her back or sue MTN???

Toli 4 U......Pls dnt LAUGH!!!!!!

In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves; They took it out to different countries for a test.
In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
In UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves;
In Spain, in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;
In Ghana, in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves;

In Uganda in 7mins it caught 20,000 thieves,

In Nigeria, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.!!!!!!!!!

I thought I told you not to laugh????????

10 Health Tips Via ECG Intranet

10 ESSENTIAL HEALTH TIPS: THE BASICS TO PRACTICE EVERYDAY

1. Move more Make it a daily challenge to find ways to move your body. Climb stairs if given a choice between that and escalators or elevators. Walk your dog; chase your kids; toss balls with friends, mow the lawn. Anything that moves your limbs is not only a fitness tool, it's a stress buster. Think 'move' in small increments of time. It doesn't have to be an hour in the gym or a 45-minute aerobic dance class or tai chi or kickboxing. But that's great when you're up to it. Meanwhile, move more. Thought for the day: Cha, Cha, Cha…. Then do it!

2. Cut Fat Avoid the obvious such as fried foods, burgers and other fatty meats (i.e. pork, bacon, ham, salami, ribs and sausage). Dairy products such as cheese, cottage cheese, milk and cream should be eaten in low fat versions. Nuts and sandwich meats, mayonnaise, margarine, butter and sauces should be eaten in limited amounts. Most are available in lower fat versions such as substitute butter, fat free cheeses and mayonnaise. Thought for the day: Lean, mean, fat-burning machine…. Then be one!

3. Quit Smoking The jury is definitely in on this verdict. Ever since 1960 when the Surgeon General announced that smoking was harmful to your health, Americans have been reducing their use of tobacco products that kill. Just recently, we've seen a surge in smoking in adolescents and teens. Could it be the Hollywood influence? It seems the stars in every movie of late smoke cigarettes. Beware. Warn your children of the false romance or 'tough guy' stance of Hollywood smokers. Thought for the day: Give up just one cigarette…. the next one.

4. Reduce Stress Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

5. Protect Yourself from Pollution If you can't live in a smog-free environment, at least avoid smoke-filled rooms, high traffic areas, breathing in highway fumes and exercising near busy thoroughfares. Exercise outside when the smog rating is low. Exercise indoors in air conditioning when air quality is good. Plant lots of shrubbery in your yard. It's a good pollution and dirt from the street deterrent. Thought for the day: 'Smoke gets in your eyes'…and your mouth, and your nose and your lungs as do pollutants….hum the tune daily.

6. Wear Your Seat Belt Statistics show that seat belts add to longevity and help alleviate potential injuries in car crashes. Thought for the day: Buckle down and buckle up.


7. Floss Your Teeth Recent studies make a direct connection between longevity and teeth flossing. Nobody knows exactly why. Perhaps it's because people who floss tend to be more health conscious than people who don't? Thought for the day: Floss and be your body's boss.

8. Avoid Excessive Drinking While recent studies show a glass of wine or one drink a day (two for men) can help protect against heart disease, more than that can cause other health problems such as liver and kidney disease and cancer. Thought for the day: A jug of wine should last a long time.

9. Keep a Positive Mental Outlook There's a definitive connection between living well and healthfully and having a cheerful outlook on life. Thought for the day: You can't be unhappy when you're smiling or singing.

10. Choose Your Parents Well The link between genetics and health is a powerful one. But just because one or both of your parents died young in ill health doesn't mean you cannot counteract the genetic pool handed you. Thought for the day: Follow these basic tips for healthy living and you can better control your own destiny.


Source: Health & Fitness Tips (HFT)